MAMMOTH

January 2015


The key to happiness is low expectations.  Go to a movie.  If you expect it to be great, you will be disappointed.  But expect nothing more than killing a couple hours and you’ll probably walk away delighted.

Low expectations is what I had for Mammoth Lakes, a ski resort among the national forests in the eastern Sierras, where Santa Barbara goes to chill.  

Somehow I got it in my head that it was an artificial ski resort, akin to Vail, which I'd visited in passing a few years ago and disliked because it looked and felt like a theme park for skiers.

But when my daughter and son-in-law announce they will go to Mammoth Mountain for a winter vacation with their son, I decide to join in take my other daughter and her son along and turn it into a COW trip. 

Just a getaway, I reason; I’ll stay inside by a fireplace, read books while they frolic in the snow. 

We drive an astonishing four hours and 33 minutes straight without anyone needing to stop for any reason.  

When I un-crumple myself outside Schat’s Bakkery in Bishop, I realize so much driving without stopping to stretch, at my age, is a huge mistake. 

A friend of mine once told me about road trips, you need to stop at least every two hours, get out and walk around, otherwise you risk blood clots—or difficulty un-crumpling.

Schat’s is a carnival of color and aromas:  cookies and cakes and all the sweetest stuff in life, including 
house-cured teriyaki beef jerky.

As we ascend the Sierras a setting sun reflects orange and pink on a mountain range to the west. 

I’m still not expecting much as we roll through the old mining town of Mammoth Lakes.  But I’m coming round.  There is a real-ness here.  

My son-in-law choseThe Village Lodge adjacent to The Village for accommodation.  It is a hub of sorts for winter vacationers, conveniently huddled by the gondola station.  

The key to the success of this resort is its simplicity evidenced by a fast check-in followed by convenient color-coded underground parking next to the appropriate elevator.  

Within minutes we are inside our three-bedroom condo.

A feeling of giddiness overwhelms me.  Maybe it’s contagion from the kids, free to romp after a six-hour, 43-minute drive.  Or maybe the altitude: 11,060 feet.

We’d already made a dinner reservation at Petra’s, walking distance, and it seems the perfect venue for après-road festivity:  good food and drink near a 

roaring fire that evokes a true sense of place.

Daughters and grandsons happily tucked in, my son-in-law and I do the nickel tour of the village, stopping first at the Clocktower Cellar—the local dive—then settling into Lakanuki (a Tiki bar) for a dark beer.

My true calling, I realize, is après-ski coach, though 19th Hole coach works, too.

I’ve never been one for sports like football and skiing, which may partly explain why I’ve never broken or fractured a bone, or even needed a stitch.  

Must be the Armenian in me.