Monday, November 4, 2019



"Wake up, Blaine!  Wake up!" shrills Mrs. Chase.  "You have to get up for school!"

Blaine snorts like a warthog.

"What's that?" shrieks Mrs. Chase.

"I'm a warthog," says Blaine.  "Warthogs don't go to school."

Mrs. Chase grins.  "Just get dressed and come down for breakfast."
Ten minutes later, Blaine swaggers into the kitchen.

"Ah, there you are, Blaine," spews Mrs. Chase.  "Your eggs and bacon are on the table."

Blaine snorts like a warthog.

"What's wrong now, Blaine?"  Mrs. Chase was cross.

"I'm a warthog," says Blaine. "Warthogs don't eat eggs and bacon.  Don't you have any slop?"

"Stop this warthog nonsense," Mrs. Chase scolds, "and eat your eggs and bacon."

Blaine munches breakfast.

"Okay, time for school," spits Mrs. Chase.

Blaine snorts like a warthog.

Mrs. Chase crosses her eyes.  "What does that mean, Blaine?"

"It means, I'm a warthog," says Blaine.  "And they don't allow warthogs in school."

"Don't start that again!" wails Mrs. Chase.  She leads Blaine out of the house and opened the back door of her car.

Blaine jumps in.

Mrs. Chase climbs behind the wheel and drives to school.  "Okay, Blaine, we're here," she moans.

Blaine snorts like a warthog.

"What now?"  Mrs. Chase shakes her head irritably.  (She has forgotten to take her meds. Again.)

"I'm a warthog," says Blaine.  "You have to open the door for me if you want me to get out."

"Oh, okay," belches Mrs. Chase.  "I'll play along with you."  She gets out and opens the car door for Blaine.

Blaine jumps out, digs his heels in the grass, and snorts like a warthog.

"What is it, Blaine?"  Mrs. Chase’s patience is practically gone.

"I'm a warthog," says Blaine.  "If you really want me to go to school, you're going to have to walk me in."

Now Mrs. Chase is mad.  But she walks Blaine into the school's main entrance.

Dr. Athemia, the school principal, sees them coming, and he stomps toward Mrs. Chase.

"Why, good morning, Dr. Athemia." Mrs. Chase beams and primps her hair.

Says Dr. Athemia, "I've told you before, Mrs. Chase—you’re not allowed to bring a warthog into a public building."