BLAINE THE WARTHOG
"Wake up, Blaine! Wake up!" shrills Mrs. Chase. "You have to get up for school!"
Blaine snorts
like a warthog.
"What's
that?" shrieks Mrs. Chase.
"I'm a
warthog," says Blaine.
"Warthogs don't go to school."
Mrs. Chase grins. "Just get dressed and come down for
breakfast."
Ten minutes
later, Blaine swaggers into the kitchen.
"Ah, there
you are, Blaine," spews Mrs. Chase.
"Your eggs and bacon are on the table."
Blaine snorts
like a warthog.
"What's
wrong now, Blaine?" Mrs. Chase was
cross.
"I'm a
warthog," says Blaine. "Warthogs don't eat eggs and bacon.
Don't you have any slop?"
"Stop this
warthog nonsense," Mrs. Chase scolds, "and eat your eggs and
bacon."
Blaine munches
breakfast.
"Okay, time
for school," spits Mrs. Chase.
Blaine snorts
like a warthog.
Mrs. Chase crosses
her eyes. "What does that
mean, Blaine?"
"It means,
I'm a warthog," says Blaine.
"And they don't allow warthogs in school."
"Don't start
that again!" wails Mrs. Chase. She
leads Blaine out of the house and opened the back door of her car.
Blaine jumps in.
Mrs. Chase
climbs behind the wheel and drives to school.
"Okay, Blaine, we're here," she moans.
Blaine snorts
like a warthog.
"What
now?" Mrs. Chase shakes her head
irritably. (She has forgotten to take
her meds. Again.)
"I'm a
warthog," says Blaine. "You
have to open the door for me if you want me to get out."
"Oh,
okay," belches Mrs. Chase.
"I'll play along with you."
She gets out and opens the car door for Blaine.
Blaine jumps out,
digs his heels in the grass, and snorts like a warthog.
"What is
it, Blaine?" Mrs. Chase’s patience
is practically gone.
"I'm a
warthog," says Blaine. "If you
really want me to go to school, you're going to have to walk me in."
Now Mrs. Chase
is mad. But she walks Blaine into the
school's main entrance.
Dr. Athemia, the
school principal, sees them coming, and he stomps toward Mrs. Chase.
"Why, good
morning, Dr. Athemia." Mrs. Chase
beams and primps her hair.
Says Dr.
Athemia, "I've told you before, Mrs. Chase—you’re not allowed to bring a warthog into a public building."
